I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
