I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
