You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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