Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I think i peed on brittanys purse
it was like eating out sand paper
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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