'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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