ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
