the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
