We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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