Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
