everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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