My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
