Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
