Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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