this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
