Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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