just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I love you. Go after that dick
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
