he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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