He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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