Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
