Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
babies were throwing up all over the place
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
