are you still at the devil's house?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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