yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
