Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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