let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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