So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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