Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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