Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
