yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Can vaginas get frostbite?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
