When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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