I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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