Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
