Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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