A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
