Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
