Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
