wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
