is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
