I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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