Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
