he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
