can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
