my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
