My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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