Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
