Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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