i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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