I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
