i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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