You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
