I've blown a few things in my day
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
