my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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